Now he is the calm one and knows what they are going through. When his wife was dying, he remembers sitting in corners feeling helpless and crying while she stayed calm. He knows his family and friends won’t be as happy. The musician is living in the moment, keeping busy, pushing ahead and enjoying every day as if it is his last. You can’t help but feel Wilko is loving it – the attention and the chance to say goodbye, while seeing the love and influence he has had on generations. I had a look round, thought, ‘Wow’ and shortly afterwards, I popped back. All those billions of years went by and then it came to 1947 and I popped out. Laughing, the musician, who has been interested in astronomy for many years, added: “The big bang happened 13billion years ago. Wilko is an atheist and doesn’t believe in an afterlife. A tree is planted over every grave and the plot has already become a small wood. He will be buried next to Irene in a green cemetery. “It teaches you what it means to be alive and not worrying about the government or whatever.” “So far, it’s not been a horrible experience. You think, ‘Why didn’t I think of this 20 years ago?’. “I’ve reached levels of serenity and happiness that I’ve never known in my life. It’s not just a mundane world you are used to – you are thinking how marvellous it is to be alive. “You walk down the street and you are looking at everything with new eyes. He said: “Normally, I’m a miserable so-and-so and moping about but now nothing matters. “A whole new load of people are coming up who will no doubt do much better than us.”Ī self-confessed lifelong grump, Wilko has suffered from depression but the prospect of dying, rather than pushing him further into the black, has lifted him. It made me forget all the rest of the rubbish. “He was screaming with delight just to walk a few steps. “This young kid is completely unaffected by the world that gets you down. That’s a pretty good thing to see your grandson doing that. Wilko said: “He learned to walk while he was here. The joy of just speaking about his grandson dissipates any gloom in the chat. Dylan is now 13 months old and was in the UK when Wilko was told he had cancer. He and Irene had two sons, Matthew and Simon, who lives in the Philippines and has made him a grandfather. “But I’ve got one of the ones that doesn’t mess about. It’s a deadly disease and if you do survive, your life is never going to be the same. “At the hospital, when they explained what it involved, I thought, ‘That’s a really bad deal for me’. He added: “My wife Irene didn’t really go through chemotherapy but me not doing it was nothing to do with her. Maybe this is why he has given in to the disease and won’t fight? But it seems not. Wilko has had people very close to him die from cancer – his much-loved wife Irene in 2004 and Dr Feelgood singer Lee Brilleaux, who died of lymphoma in 1994. “From where I stand, there’s nothing to fear.” He said: “I haven’t felt any fear since the diagnosis. Giving out a raspy cough, Wilko continued in his Essex drawl. It’s all very well sounding brave to journalists but what happens when we aren’t asking the questions? I wonder, though, if knowing he is going to die has made him scared. ![]() “I’ve spent my life having so much fun, doing so many things and going to so many places and doing exactly what I’ve wanted to do for all this time. ![]() Speaking from his home in Essex’s Southend-on-Sea, just up the coast from where he was born in Canvey Island, Wilko said: “What a fantastic life I’ve had. ![]() Over the next couple of months, he will also be on a farewell tour, including a date – now sold out – at Glasgow’s O2 ABC on March 9.ĭoctors have given him until early 2014 and while most of us would be panicking about fitting in everything we want to do in those final months, Wilko has found a serene calmness and peace in a world he so often fought against. He refused chemotherapy and, instead, recorded a final album. The iconic guitarist was diagnosed in December with terminal pancreatic cancer. His band Dr Feelgood are seen as the godfathers of punk and influenced bands including the Sex Pistols, The Clash, The Jam and Blondie.īut while the choppy guitar playing and wild bug-eyes of Wilko, 65, have been copied by thousands of wannabe musicians, it is how he is dealing with his impending death that will inspire even more people. As a guitarist and songwriter, Wilko Johnson has always been an inspiration.
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